The Wheels On The Bus

Yes, I’m well aware that it’s been over a year since that last post. I’ve been busy. A LOT has happened. Well not really a lot, I just got lazy towards the end of the spring semester last year, plus I had a ridiculous amount of work to do. Was it because I procrastinated on my work? Not at all, procrastination is the politically correct term for a concept I like to call “Designated Time”. You see, when I get an assignment, I set aside a time for when I’m going to do it – at the last minute. Now, the last minute can mean the day before, up to three days before. Although three days is somewhat of a stretch because there are two days allotted to work in the assignment. I’m sure we all know most people do their best work at the last minute, so why not wait until the last minute? That, my friends, is designated time, a derivative of time management.

Well in the fall of last year, a crap load happened. I won’t get in to that, but let’s just say I have some of the best friends in the world. I have great parents who supported me all through the foolery. I also have to thank my idol, Bill Nye The Science Guy, for keeping my head level through the whole situation. With that said, the meat and potatoes….

[sighs] Another year of the annual homecoming festivities. Where should I begin? The girl who thought it was okay to walk around in public wearing an alligator print cat suit? Her partner in crime wearing a snake skin cat suit? The girl who thought it was okay to wear snow boots in the dead of fall? The gentlemen who spent their book voucher money on the latest Dada Supreme and Bugle Boy outfits? Whatever the case may be, with each year, Howard’s sense of fashion is mirroring the economic state of America – just getting worse and worse. Let’s get a few things straight:

I’m not here for cat suits.

I’m not here for girls who think it’s okay to have a two tone weave with unpressed hair.

I’m not here for the faculty and staff thinking it’s okay to “get their groove back” just because Frankie Beverly & Maze rubbed some Bengay on their knees and came out for a show. Howard can’t afford to have EMS on standby. And the streets are too crowded for Life Alert to hear your calls.

I’m not here for people living beyond their means wearing clothes they couldn’t afford even if it were on the wholesale rack.

And I’m DEFINITELY not here for boys thinking it’s okay to shop at Causal Male XL when their frame is similar to Gumby’s.

Oddly enough, there were more people at Yardfest (the free stuff) than last year. You would have thought Howard was giving out reparations. People came in their Easter Sunday best. But it’s not like half of them have been to church in months. Homecoming was the same foolery it is every year. So I won’t get into that too much. Homecoming will tell you who your real friends are.

Back to me, so I no longer live on campus. No more rules. No more visitation hours (as if ANYBODY adhered to them). No more running around the dorm having water fights. I’m on my own, in a way. Five days a week I take the bus and the train to and from campus. The morning commute is rather boring. Not much happens since it’s so early in the morning. The evening is when the nonsense happens. I take four different buses after class. I could take the train, but the common sense in me refuses to pay $6 to go from campus to home on the train. So I just take the bus. I always take my iPod so that I don’t have to worry about being bothered. But that doesn’t stop me from experiencing all the great people DC has to offer. Spending up to 2 hours on the bus, I’ve come to realize a lot of things about people who ride the bus. These are my findings:

1. People are not prepared. I really just don’t have time for stupid people. But I find it irritating when people get on the bus and don’t have their money ready. You should have had your transit card or cash, coins, iTunes gift card, etc ready to pay the fare. There’s no reason why you get on the bus and search through your bottomless carryon luggage some people call a purse. YOU KNEW 10 minutes ago you were getting on the bus. You should have taken care of that beforehand. Now, I can understand if you were running to make it, that’s justified. But when you’ve been standing at the bus stop for at least a minute watching the bus approach, there’s no justification. There’s nothing that irritates me more than when a bus stops at the corner, and the second the bus begins to pull off, the light changes and we have to stop.

2. People are loud. I was on the bus one afternoon and this woman found it necessary to talk to her cousin on the phone about an affair between a boyfriend and another person. How she’s not afraid to whoop her tail – mind you she was about 5 foot 4 115 pounds wearing Keds (ma’am, sit down). The high school kids get on the bus and act like a bunch of AHDA having children let loose in 10 acre McDonald’s play place. Then there are the people who get on with their iPods and are playing the music loudly, totally defeating the purpose of the headphones. I shouldn’t be listening to my music and then all of a sudden hear “…all you ladies pop your pussy like this…” Then there’s the middle to old aged men who get on and a civil conversation is almost like a shouting match considering the volume of their voices. I understand you’re trying to be heard, but I don’t think the people in Nebraska need to hear you.

3. People do not care. I can’t explain it, but a picture is worth a thousand words:

4. People over/under estimate. I’m slender person. I’m only about 5’7 135 pounds. Some people think that just because I’m small, and they’re big, that means the space in the seat will balance out. No. It will not. I’ve been through this a number of times. If anything, once the second and third layer of love handles settle into the seat, there will be hardly any breathing room for me. And I like to sit at the window. God forbid I need to reach into my pocket for something. 

5. People have issues. There’s always that one person on the bus or train who makes the ride uncomfortable for everyone else. This person is talking loud, appears to have a mental handicap, is pacing the bus, and basically preaching a Jehovah’s Witnesses “The Watch Tower” pamphlet. I’ve experienced a number of these. There was one night when somehow the Soulja Girl found her way to DC and was preaching at the Brookland Metro Station bus terminal. Her exact words were, “Your next boyfriend is going to rape your son.” She was quite loud. She was talking about some other nonsense. But the whole situation really called into the question the whereabouts of her straight jacket. There was another time at the same station when a man and a woman almost got into a battle. The woman was smoking around the man’s children and he asked her to stop. She must’ve found the proposal disrespectful because she started hollering like the ignorant coon that she was. She even threatened to fight the man with his children there. She would have lost anyway. 

But in any event, now that I have a lot more free time, I’ll be able to keep you updated on my daily travels and the foolery that I encounter on a weekly basis.

My life at Howard University.