Epic Fail

I’ve been gone doing my own thing for the past couple of months. Been very busy trying to get work done and manage to milk my way through this institution known as Howard University. In any event, to summarize the past couple of months of my experience, I’ll just pick up where I left off.

Howard Homecoming is a celebration of the football team’s continuous losing streak. Only sometimes it is used to give the players a sense of hope after having lost several games throughout the season. It is a time when students use their “emergency loans” to head over to Georgetown and pick up a new outfit. Girls head over to the salon to get a rent-a-weave. The guys find it necessary to purchase clothing far beyond their means of living they knowingly can’t afford on normal salary. I’m not sure who told some of them Avirex and Iceberg was still in style, but clearly this is not Hampton.

So like a typical person trying to get ahead in life, I only attended the free events that were offered during Homecoming week, Yardfest. Now Yardfest is basically an outdoor concert SUPPOSED to be for Howard students, their friends and/or family, and alumni. However the local residents view it as a “Negro Get Away for a Day” program and mosey their way onto campus as if they actually attend the school…and dare you to say something about it. But then again it’s not like campus security does anything ANYWAY [roll eyes]. So I went to the Yardfest which was aptly title “Rhythm Nation” so I was expecting some type of Janet Jackson tribute, and if I didn’t get one, I was going to raise hell and send Janet a letter telling her to sue Howard for copyright infringement. But lo and behold they knew better than to play with me.

Walking around the yard was fun…lots of girls in spandex so I couldn’t really complain. HOWEVER, there are just some people who refuse to comply with the weather.

Take note of how everyone around is dressed. Warm clothing, jackets, jeans, you know the typical apparel for fall. But as stated, some people refuse to conform.

And there must have been a sale on brown boots at Rack Room Shoes or wherever these girls shop for footwear...

Wearing shorts in 40 degree weather? Fail.

Compromising warmth to look cute in an outfit you know you’ll be returning the following Monday? Fail.

Trying to look cute in front of boys who don’t want you? Epic fail.

For everything else, there's success. This is not one of those times.

Epic fail. 

So moving on…I have the same three classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays weekly. So with that said, you know how you learned in middle school that there’s no such thing as a dumb question? Whoever told you that lied. It was two weeks before Thanksgivings day (a Thursday), and I was in class and had to bear witness to this foolishness:

Professor: I know some of you aren’t coming to class on Tuesday because you’re going home for Thanksgiving…but you know you still have to turn in your work.

Student: If we’re not going to be here that Tuesday, can we turn it in next Thursday?

Professor: Yes...you can turn it in this coming Thursday.

Student: No next Thursday…

Epic fail.

On Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays I only have one class. It is conveniently at 8:10 in the morning. So one day I really didn’t feel like going to class, so I planned to show up late so I wouldn’t have to sit through all 50 minutes of the class. So I left my room around 8:20 and got to class around 8:30. Upon my arrival to class I noticed the professor never showed up, and everyone was signing the role and leaving.

Epic fail.

On November 11^th, it was raining, and kind of cold. I got up at 7:30, got dressed, and did the whole nine, and left for class around 8 a.m. As I was walking, I was wondering why there wasn’t anyone on campus. I walked about two blocks before I realized it was a holiday and we didn’t have class.

Epic fail.

Then I tried to play it off like I was going to the Administration Building, only to get there and realize that was closed as well.

Fail...again.

So Thanksgiving finally came around, and my flight was literally on Thanksgiving day. So thinking that it’s the holiday and this is the Washington, DC airport, I figured that it would be very busy. So I decided that I should get there around 8 a.m. to check in and through security…you know just in case it was really busy. I get off the train and notice the airport is pretty much a ghost town. I look at the clock and it was around 8:00 a.m. I was 4 ½ hours early for my flight.

Epic fail.

I got to the airport expecting this. Instead I got this. So after about 3 ½ hours of waiting, I decided to go to the terminal and prepare to board. It was about 45 minutes before takeoff and I was wondering why no one was boarding. I was at the wrong gate.

Epic fail.

So I was at work one day during a Christmas rush helping a customer when I hear a soft “Oh shit!” followed by a loud noise come from the escalator. I walk over and notice an old woman had successfully fallen down the “up” escalator.

Epic fail.

It took me a few minutes to absorb the events that had just transpired. I knew laughing was out of the question. Not because it was an old woman, but because I was perplexed by how a woman had fallen down the escalator going up. Like, isn’t that a conflict of interest? I think I was more in shock than anyone. I assumed her dress had gotten caught in the side somehow. But that’s all assumption. And then when someone had finally gotten her off the escalator, she said she did not need medical attention. Ma’am, you are about six breaths from Judgment Day. You need to see a paramedic. So once I got off work, I was in the back gathering my things to leave and these two co-workers were discussing the incident. And one of them said, “you know that’s why I always hold on to the handrail when I’m on the escalator.” And I was thinking to myself, it’s not that serious. Just get on the escalator and stand still until you get to the top!

Epic fail.

To this day I am still dumbfounded on how that old woman managed to pull that off.

My life at Howard University.